Why people insulting others

A person may also hurl an insult at another simply because of "the pecking order and the undoubted primary aggression that characterises us as humans", notes Gabriel. In his paper, An Introduction to the social psychology of insults in organizations, available from the free online collection of the International Society for the Psychoanalytic Study of Organisations ISPSO , Gabriel suggests that "jokes are a good place to begin an investigation of insults.

Like jokes, insults depend on timing and must touch a vital nerve. Like jokes, insults play on hidden desires and vulnerabilities. Like jokes, they can be highly imaginative and ingenious… The main difference between insults and jokes would seem to lie in their emotional content.

Jokes release mirth, whereas insults unleash anger. It is no surprise that there is an array of ways to degrade, offend, humiliate and unleash that anger in people. According to Gabriel, "insults can be verbal, consisting of mocking invective, cutting remarks, negative stereotypes, rudeness or straight swearing. Hellen Meyerhof, a Brazilian flight attendant based in Abu Dhabi, knows exactly what this feels like: "In my previous job, I had to deal with a very difficult customer.

One day, he stormed in and started to complain about almost everything about my company. He shouted at me in front of other customers and colleagues. I felt stressed and terrible; all I really wanted to do was run far away and scream out to release the stress.

But I took a deep breath and listened attentively and respectfully without interruption. After I took responsibility for the problem on behalf of my organisation, the customer calmed down, came to his senses and ended apologising for his behaviour.

Usually I get defensive. My first thought is to turn around, remind them that I'm working, and ask [how they would feel] if I sat through their office meetings making comments all through. But then I remind myself to diffuse the situation by taking the comment lightly and making polite conversation According to Gabriel, "Insults can also be performed in deed, as when valued objects are defamed, symbols desecrated, gifts returned or invitations refused.

A good example of this is the classic scene in Pretty Woman where Vivian played so well by Julia Roberts steps into a designer store in Beverly Hills to buy a dress. The sales lady does not hurl any pointed insults. She simply looks Vivian from head to toe and says things like, "It's very expensive", "I don't think we have anything for you" and "You are obviously in the wrong place".

Gabriel reminds us of several other types of insults based on exclusion. For instance, when invitations highlight the division between those on the guest list and those who are not. Even if no slight is intended it is easy fora person left out to feel offended. Another feature of insults is that some of them are very subjective. For instance, let's say you are with a friend in a restaurant. You are both starving so you order almost half the things on the menu.

Just as you are placing your order, a stranger who perhaps overhead the order you were placing, walks past saying: "a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips". You find it funny and burst into laughter but your friend breaks down in tears. Why such disparate reactions? Well, the answer might just be inside the part of our personality that we don't like to expose or think about. After all, that's where some of our qualities, as well emotions related to physical and verbal traumas lie.

That may be the reason she found the stranger's comment insulting while you did not. Words and behaviours are also interpreted differently by individuals, depending on their values and cultures.

After all, it's a person's culture that shapes his or her attitudes and how he or she functions. Our internalised values, related to region, country, gender and so on will play a significant role in how we understand what is said and done to us.

For instance, it was during a flight from Baghdad to Abu Dhabi that Peter Colussy, an American based in Abu Dhabi, understood how insults can be generated due to lack of cultural knowledge: "During boarding, I noticed a woman who was having difficulty walking down the aisle. They love doing that because they are fond of you. So maybe you have a cousin who keeps calling you a little chubby because you are on the heavier side but she does not mean to be rude.

But maybe her insults or her comments could hurt you a little bit but what she is actually indulging in is just playful teasing. Now responding to an insult is much better than reacting to it.

They love to control. They are very controlling people, right? So they want to ensure that you get angry or you just maybe break down and cry but you are not going to give them, the satisfaction of that kind of reaction, right?

So, before you even respond to what they have to say, ensure that you take several deep breaths, stay calm so that you are composed enough to give a very effective reply to what they have to say. It is also very important to tell the person who is insulting you, how you exactly feel. Yes, even though you are to stay calm, it is your duty to ensure that the person who is insulting you or mocking you knows what you are going through.

So when you are faced with an insult, it is important that you tell the person who is insulting you, what you actually feel. The third point to note when responding to an insult is to ensure that you ignore the insults completely. Now let me tell you, ignoring an insult is sometimes the wisest and the best thing to do.

Why would you ignore an insult and not respond to it? Okay now, how would you ignore an insult? You can ignore an insult by changing the topic of conversation and talking about something entirely unrelated or you could just walk away from the place that you are having this conversation with or this person.

So you could leave the room, you could leave the place that you are being insulted or spoken rudely at. So you will simply walk out of the room or talk about, you know a different project altogether which is not even related to the one that you have worked upon right now. So, ignoring an insult is one of the wisest things to do. Another very interesting way of responding to an insult is by using humour.

Count it as room for improvement. How to Reply Back When Someone Insults You Even though the above suggestions are great for you to tackle any situation in which you have to do something when someone insults you repeatedly.

Arguing with a fool only proves there are two. If your goal was to be hurtful, mission accomplished. If I had a chance to be someone else, I would be you. I want to know how can a person be so rude. Repeat exactly what they said. Definitely, it will irritate the person.

You do not have enough brain to have an opinion. Let me guess, Were you born on a highway? Because most accidents happen there. Everyone ignores them as well. You remind me of Penny, Two-faced, and Not worthy. I really wish you step on a lego. I know you are not my hater. But a Fan, who notices everything about me. Thank you for making me this famous. But, describing you.

Wish that you can be at my place and can see, How bogus you look from here? How lucky they are. Have a problem with me? Then call me. Then, know me well. I can imagine, How relaxed your family feels when you are not at home? Earth is already full. So, you can go back to your planet. Smart things to say when someone insults you Well, earlier we have discussed some best ideas to do after listening to such insulting words and personal comments. I feel bad for you, the world is a tough place for people like you.

Hope you get to meet more people like you. I can understand. Nature did bad to you. You are that last piece of bread, that everyone ignores. You need to make an appointment to get the answer from me.

Thank god, we get to see you at school only. Best advice to you: Stop being you. Are you that natural or have attained a course to behave in such a way? No surprise anymore. Just realized why everyone prefers to talk behind your back. Anyone who sees you has bad luck for the rest day, itself. You will go that far in life. That no one wants you to come back. Of course, I can beat you. Hey, look your nose is again in my business here. Funny thing is, the person who talks so much about you, knows nothing real.

Even mirror control laughs after seeing you. These work in concert to enable us to detect and make judgements about minds — both our own and those of others.

When we bond in a group — whether that is with kin or co-workers, friends or football fans — our bodies produce hormones like oxytocin that play a role in bringing us together. This — directly or indirectly — can alter our views on other minds. In effect, we believe those in our group more readily, often exaggerating the mental abilities of those with whom we feel allegiance. What follows from this is that we can undervalue the intelligence of those whose views differ from our own.

Even more troubling, we can find ourselves responding more slowly to signals of emotion or experience from outsiders.