Remind me again why i need a man

Sep 20, Elizabeth rated it did not like it Shelves: chick-lit , dnf-did-not-finish. I'm not sure if it's fair to rate this book as I could not get past the first 25 pages. I've learned that if I don't like it after the first pages, it's generally not going to get better. This book was so poorly written I could not continue. Hire an editor - spelling errors? Come on! Too many cliches, bad grammar. I just could not take it. But not if it is poorly executed.

Mar 01, Sirena rated it liked it. Could barely get thru it. I was hoping I might learn why I'm still single haha. All my ex's except 3 are unmarried or not in happy relationships so clearly I'm not the problem. I didn't think Amelia was the problem either.

Ending could've been better. I really adored this lovely tale of finding true love! Review to come :. Nov 01, Meghan Ralph rated it it was ok. Fun read but felt as if something was lacking. Jan 11, Kristina rated it really liked it Shelves: mystery , action-adventure , fictional-romance , fiction , humor. Classic British humor and writing. It was great. It had humor, shake your head embarrassingly moments, and hope that love is around the corner.

Amelia, a tv producer, is on a journey to get married within the year. She is over 35 so no time like the now. She joins a class that can guarantee just that promise. She has to go back into her ex-past and discover why tho Classic British humor and writing. And the stories that come about those relationships? Whoo boy. I would never want to date again. But the stories are hilarious and so sad at the same time. I can actually see these scenarios happen too. How they all come together for each other and help through this muddled life we all live.

The story ends with some sort of empowerment for her which I was glad to see for her. Gave me a bit of a Bridget Jones vibe.

Quick read not the best of the best and had too many movie cliches the ex moving in next door, proposing at an award show, all the exes were pretty much made for stereotypical movie character in there and I probably would see it if it had a movie adaption.

Like what will Ira say? I also really needed more debt to the characters, since that one girl in the class liked Phillip so much could we please to see him from that perspective?

He just seemed rude all the time and I would have loved to just have one moment where he was kind. To me it seems childish and like a mean girl group vibe. Read this in English! It was a very nice holiday read, read most of in on the train ride to Tampere, it was so nice to dive into the book and read in peace! It was about Amelia who is still single at 37, and desperate to get married. She has a close circle of friends and a nice job, but the spouse is missing.

That's why she attends a course that claims that she'll be married at the end of the year if she can do her homework on these classes. That means she has to contact her exes She does tha Read this in English! She does that and learns about relationships and herself on the way. The ending wasn't predictable and I liked the characters! But it feels like it ended too soon, is there a sequel to this?

I hope so! Feb 25, Ema rated it really liked it. Thankfully, it ends with her being strong enough to stand on her own two feet with the support of her friends, and that was very lovely. Feb 01, Bethany rated it liked it Shelves: book-club. Feb Nadiya picked Lots and lots of typos. But getting past that and traveling to into a twisted Irish version of Sex and the City I enjoyed the empowered woman ending, I was a little anxious it was going to be a You and Peaches ending Made me laugh a lot.

Not sophisticated. But appreciated nonetheless. OMG, this book is so generic that I had read it before and didn't even realize it until Goodreads pointed that fact out to me, as I was getting ready to write this review. It didn't even feel familiar enough as I read it that I noticed. Nov 05, Deepa Duraisamy rated it did not like it. Save your time. Somehow read pages.

Didn't take me that long to realize but I kept going thinking maybe the plot will pick up and the story will get more interesting. Finally chucking it. That being said, the humor at times is funny. Jul 30, Diana rated it really liked it. Very refreshing and really didn't quite expect the ending, especially for this genre. It was Jamie who christened him the Oompah Loompah, mainly because he was short with red hair.

Funny, but mean. These things are bigger than us. Sister Hildegard used to always say that you should go on a least three dates with a man before you rejected him. You know, like we tease Jamie for doing. Damien Delaney. I have to tread carefully here, as I know Caroline is very fond of him too.

One hundred percent effective, every time. Damien is a lot older than me, about sixty, widowed with grown-up kids and now living back at home with his mother. Now, ordinarily, I have a high tolerance level for the eccentricities of others, but even I thought that was a bit wacky. There was also the small matter of there being absolutely no chemistry between us—nothing, not even the tiniest smidge.

You have Rachel and Jamie for that. For me? Mike looks as yummy as ever, getting more and more like Richard Gere every day and wearing Calvin Klein casual gear even better than Calvin Klein himself could. The clothes should be covered in chocolate stains and congealed snot. The phone in the hall is ringing, and I answer. Do I need a glass of wine in my hand for this? Because for a minute there, I was afraid you were going to be vague. Oh, shit, curiosity just got the better of me.

Explanation please? Look on him as younger than some buildings. Very funny. Brady, old lady, and call me straight back. Claudia Carroll 94 There stands the only other person I know who still has a key to my building. I have to grip tight onto the door frame, just to stop myself from passing out.

All I can do is stare at him in deep, total shock. Stop opening and closing your jaw, my inner voice says. He has an incurable disease and has six months to live. Oh, God, far worse!

He has an incurable disease that he has passed on to me, and now I have six months to live. Dare I even think this thought? Loves me? Wants me back? Spectacularly wrong, on all four counts. So, are you going to ask me in? Force of habit. You look well. The thing is. Or is this actually his roundabout preamble to saying he wants us to get back together again? I get another Walter Mitty head-rush fantasy, this time where the impossible dream has happened.

Am I hearing things? You said you wanted to live out the rest of your days alone, in your farmhouse in bloody Stab City. Sorry, I mean Johannesburg.

I have spent some not inconsiderable time dwelling on the topic. Seeing as that was the main reason why we broke up. At that time. Before I met Poppy. To invite me to his wedding? She just wants to get married and have a family. All the simple things in life, really. Meeting Poppy made me realize these are the things that I want too. A woman who wants to make a home. And still want. I never thought so. I know for a fact Rachel calls me Shitface behind my back.

The torture has to be almost at an end. With Poppy. Yes, I know that sounds childish and petulant. I remind myself that I could be living in the slums of Calcutta, with typhoid and leprosy. I could be sleeping rough. In Zimbabwe. In day care? Or maybe you were babysitting her?

You and I were together for three years. But you must know, deep down, that you and I would never have worked out. They live here. Just round the corner. I swear, if this was a plot on Celtic Tigers, no one would believe it. This is my hemisphere, not yours. Anything, just to get him out of my apartment, out of Dublin, and out of my life. Surely, for the love of God, you have nothing else to land on me? Before I even open up, I can hear the pair of them in the hallway outside, bickering.

Not just putting a brave face on for us? I bought them from this poor homeless alcoholic who was selling them outside a garage. I felt sorry for him. I thought that was your agent. The fags are for me, the bagels are for you, and the chocolate croissants are for Fat Boy Slim here.

All night long. I only wish I were joking. Will you look at the state of her! Go and make her something so strong she could trot a mouse over it.

Irish it up if you have to. I was only coming in the door when I got your dawn distress call. I know, I know, feel free to call me a big dirty stop-out. Well, freebies that other people end up paying for.

It has a fabulous view. I send out the SOS, and here you all are. The question is, what are we going to do? There is absolutely no hope for any kind of happy outcome in this situation.

I checked last night. Maybe he traded down from you. How can Poppy possibly compete? The only thing I have on her is a job. Plus you could always have your eggs frozen. Loads of celebs are doing that now, you know. Career women just like you who want to put it off till later in life. I know she means to be kind, but right now, even the smell of it is making my tummy churn. You know why? That he then subsequently forgot to feed so it starved to death when I was away. I need you both to tell me honestly, as my best friends; is there something so fundamentally unmarriable about me?

With my ex-boyfriend and his lovely young wife for neighbors. Oh, you remember him from college. Hunky and chunky type. Looks a bit like Simon Cowell? Pol Pot meant well. I think. Even the Beatles had a more amicable breakup than you pair.

Not today. Throw a sickie. Being busy is good. Having a focus is good. And anything that prevents me from physically hurling Jamie out the window right at this point in time can only be a good thing. Let Caroline in when she gets here, will you?

Loud and clear. Save himself a fortune on Sky News. Tell me nothing. I talk. The Time: December 31, The night does not get off to a good start. Would you want to start off by being dumped? And guess what, I never will be. He came over for dinner last night and ended up having a go at my poor old mum because he caught her watching Cagney and Lacey. He told her it was the cheesiest series ever committed to celluloid and that it was fundamentally aimed at menopausal housewives.

I did my best to pretend to enjoy it, but he sees right through my act. I would have been so happy just going to see Hannah and Her Sisters. He keeps putting Jamie down too. He says his singing is off-key and his songwriting is way too commercial. He wants Emergency Exit to head in a completely different direction. Experimental, electronic stuff, you know? Put simply, Mike gave Caroline a string of pearls for Christmas which he worked his arse off to earn the money for, at his part-time job in a garage , whereas Pete gave me.

Not a thing. Funny, but for someone opposed to giving gifts, he has no problem accepting them. Bon Jovi? Get lost. Thought that would have been, like, sooooo obvious.

The only difference between the way Pete looks now and the way he looks normally is that his hair is that bit spikier. Just like a s cyberbabe. Think of it as a backhanded compliment. Just wait till after midnight. No sign. As if. I shudder and am wondering how I can get out of that one when Mike switches off the music and starts the countdown. I can see Pete coming through the crowd and moving closer to me. This is an emergency. And there they are. Then the whole place erupts.

Thank God for work. Thank God for being busy, and thank God for not having any time left over to think. Nine missed calls. You know me, in vino veritas, and besides, I was only thinking of you, my love. I know how much you want to be a Sadie, Sadie married lady and fair play to you. Are you still in meetings? Ring me when you get this.

I sort of have an idea about how I can make this up to you. Love you, mean it. I hate to sound needy or anything, but call me, call me, call me!!!

This woman is too young and beautiful to die! I have a cunning plan that cannot fail. Now pay attention, Bond. Brilliant, eh? Pete was always thick as a plank. Love you up to the sky! I rang Pete. Are you sitting comfortably?

I nearly had to have a lie-down when he told me. So, the wedding is on Saturday, and I said why not meet up for a drink if he had any free time over the weekend.

So are you thrilled? And more important, am I back in your good books again? I may have exaggerated the teeniest little bit about what I was doing now. I might just need your help. As I say, nothing like hard work to take your mind off things. This time, I brought an ally.

I promise, sweetie! Bit of a hair gel emergency! What is that aftershave? I invented it myself. Harpic toilet bleach? And we are meeting in my favorite haunt, the Dragon Bar on Georges Street. You arranged to meet Pete in a gay bar? So do you want to know the good news, oh single one? I was on the phone to him for ages, and he never once mentioned a wife or dependent kids.

Nor did he even mention the dreaded GF word. This is not a date. This is about as far from a Claudia Carroll date as you can get. He was a total arsehole back then. The only honorable course of action open to you was to drop him off in Dumpsville. Let me put it to you like this. Then guess what? Same with dating. I totally understand this burning need to have to be married.

After tonight, three down and only seven to go. Crowded, noisy, and full of Friday-night poseurs. We battle our way to the bar, order drinks, and look around for anyone who even closely resembles Pete, i.

Kind of like John Cleese, except in his late thirties. Well, not exactly. I just tweaked the truth a bit. Bugger it. Livingstone, I presume? Still skeletally thin, still hollow-cheeked, still the same ghostly pallor of the night dweller; the only notable difference is that his clothes have dramatically improved.

We all hug and air-kiss and greet each other, and I try my best to act casual and relaxed, as if I frequent gay bars every night of the week. Would I have seen you in anything? Boy, has he done his homework. Limited-release stuff, you know. And by the two of them, I really do mean the two of them. Eventually, a tactic strikes me. I never know what he does in there, but he takes far longer than any girl in the loo.

Half of it sounded like a compliment and the other half sounded like an insult. Okay, this is good, this is great. In fact, do you mind me asking you something, Amelia? Fire away. Right, nothing for it but to brace myself for a good, stout lie.

Because right then, ladies and gentlemen, we hear an alarm bell. Possibly the loudest, clearest alarm bell ever heard this side of Big Ben. He was always so pretentious and up-his-own-arse. That type never un-dorkulate. I thought he was very cultured.

Or is there more to come? I could be in danger of becoming the class clown when they all hear this latest. Why would I quit the course? Why not? What is so terrible about being alone? You need to shift your attitude, honey, and focus on all the positives about being single. Get on the plane with me right now and come to Paris for the weekend. I have a date. On the left, I see the pros for each guy so clearly they could almost be written in neon graphics, and on the right, I see the cons.

And thus it is with Damien. The whole scene looks like something out of a really posh interior-design magazine. I plonk down on a stool at the breakfast bar, oohing and aahing at all the yummy dinner smells. Where are the little cherubs, anyway? I was thinking the house was unusually quiet. On special occasions like this, they get hamburgers and fries in return for good behavior. Wait here, will you, pet, and let me get rid of whoever it is.

After all, he could just turn out to be my headless groom. He then presents Caroline with a lovely tall pink orchid in a pot. For a man of his age. CON: Oh, who am I kidding? Caroline sweetly asks him how his grandchildren are. PRO: No sooner have the kids been ushered into the TV room by the au pair than poor Damien collapses onto a kitchen chair, exhausted.

As soon as Mike gets home, the four of us troop upstairs to the dining room, which Caroline has beautifully laid out, with linen napkins and all the good Louise Kennedy crystal glasses. In return, I ask him all about being retired and all the free time he has on his hands. Turns out he spends all of it either playing golf or else looking after his mother, who he lives with.

PRO: This is a good thing. All the self-help books proudly boast that if you want an instant handle on a guy, all you have to do is casually ask him how he gets on with his mom. The rule of thumb being, that nice guys tend to have very good relationships with their mothers, whereas the losers, my normal targets, tend not to.

After dessert, Caroline asks me to give her a hand with the coffee, winking surreptitiously at me from the corner of Claudia Carroll her eye to follow her. We gather up a load of plates between us and trundle downstairs to the kitchen, leaving the boys to talk about their golf handicaps. She always knows. Besides, I always take her to early mass on Sunday mornings, so I really ought to call it a night.

Headless groom, Vera Wang, headless groom, Vera Wang. Now I know how it feels to be courted like a Jane Austen heroine. My silence says it all. Over my dead body am I letting you meet up with him on your own. First, though, I should give you a little bit of deep background.

Tony was amazing, a really stunningly wonderful all-rounder of a guy. If his life was ever made into a Hollywood movie, he would have to be played by. Jude Law. He went to St. As we say in television, he was so popular, he was practically lowest common denominator. Everyone loved him, and absolutely no one had a bad word to say about him. It was circumstances that broke us up, or so I like to think; he won a rugby scholarship to Glasgow University in Scotland, and so, to my complete devastation, we had to part.

No question. But we lost touch, as you do, and the strain of keeping up a long-distance relationship took its toll, as it inevitably does.

Let me explain the chain. When Rachel split up with hubbie number two or Shit Features, as she calls him she sold both of her engagement rings and used the money as a deposit on a bijou, dinky little villa by the sea in Dalkey, county Dublin. Now for a city chick like our Rachel, the lure of living in the heart of town was too much to resist, so she rented out the villa and moved lock, stock, and barrel into her new bachelor-girl bolthole.

It just so happened that when Rachel came to rent out the house, the estate agent sent out another St. So this, in a nutshell, is the plan. First thing in the morning, Rachel is going to ring Thickie Brickie on the thinly veiled pretext of discussing the lease on her villa, which by a stroke of very good luck is up for renewal at the end of next month. Through the darkness, I see Philip Burke, also alone and also heading for his car. He spots me, waves, and strides over.

No such luck. Without any preamble or reference to the fact that we seem to be the only two people in the whole station working on a Sunday, he cuts straight to the chase with his usual hawklike focus. He does want an impromptu work discussion. Pub explodes? Alien abduction? Celtic Tigers is known for taking chances on crap, as we all know. Cut away the fat. Trust me. I want to see changes on that show, and I want to see them fast. Now as it happens, we are actually bringing a new family into Celtic Tigers.

What did he say?! I never bothered asking whether he was married or not, because even Thickie Brickie might have copped on to that one. You practically have to build a library wing and pledge an Astroturf pitch just to get your child on the waiting list. Nor am I the only one battling for airtime. In fact, you can hardly shut any of us up. My instincts, for once, are totally on the money.

I am in danger of becoming the class comedienne. He even referred to me as his hag. But then this was back in That time. Cut your losses. Did you do your assignment? No chemistry. Either that or make a joke of it. Talk about laserlike penetration. You all wanna be happily married to a man you truly love, and you all should settle for nothing less. I will be asking one of you ladies to host it, and the rest of you to provide food and wine.

Each of you will have to bring along a date; but not your normal type of date. Maybe one of your classmates will fall madly in love with him, who knows? In the United States, we call this a treasure or trash party. Amelia, I strongly suggest that you bring along this older guy of yours. Fab idea. Besides, the story about he-whose-name-shall-foreverremain-unspoken is so mind-bogglingly far-fetched, who in the class would even believe me? A woman called Sheila, sitting behind me, said she was matched up with a guy whom her best friend did meals-on-wheels with.

She very naturally jumped to the conclusion that this meant he was a kind, considerate, civic-minded member of the public. Turned out he was only doing meals-on-wheels as part of his community service.

What is it about this class that seems to make time stand still? He has to be married by now, I reckon—how could he not be? Tony Irwin has to be the luckiest woman alive. Quite simply, women outnumber men. Your future husband may be shorter then you, he may not earn as much as you, he may not love the theater the way you do. That was the primary market. But then the phone companies got smart. They realized they could make a lot more money by expanding their market to include secondary buyers, like teenagers or busy moms.

I purposely loiter behind, dying for a quick, private chat with her. Pretty soon the room empties, and I go for it. Even Ira, with all her boundless energy, has to grab a seat for this one. And you were right. You should hear what my friends have to say about him.

He was also the type of man who needed what I can only describe as the uninterrupted ego-massaging normally associated with heirs to the throne in ancient civilizations. You know, the type of guy who thinks that everything centers around him, at all times, always. Funny, how a bit of perspective from a failed relationship can make you feel like a total idiot. When I think I what I put up with, in the name of love.

You have to stop dating dumb and learn to date smart. There is no point in throwing good time after bad. Good luck to him and his bride-to-be. Where I come from we have an old saying: There is no Oz without Kansas. Ever heard of it? The universe is very fair like that. Your prince is almost here. I doze off and have the craziest dream. Figure that one out, Dr. Rachel, putting on a truly awful southern accent. But as her thirties tick by at an alarming pace, Amelia is getting anxious about the one thing missing in her otherwise successful life—a husband!

When she sees an ad for a night course entitled How to Find a Husband over the Age of Thirty-five, she finally makes up her mind to have it all an old-fashioned ring on her finger by the end of the year. So after twenty years of going it on her own, Amelia swallows her pride, signs up for dating boot camp, and enlists the help of a professional.

Claudia Carroll examines the rules of attraction in a sophisticated and refreshing way.